What Did the Turkey Say to the Farmer?

As Thanksgiving approaches, you may find yourself wondering – what exactly might a turkey say to a farmer as the holiday nears? Let’s explore some humorous imagined turkey-farmer conversations through jokes and funny interpretations.

Common Turkey Expressions

While turkeys don’t actually talk here are some gobble-based phrases they might direct at farmers

• “Don’t ax for whom the turkey gobbles, he gobbles for thee.”

• “I don’t mean to be fowl, but your feed could use some work”

• “You can’t make a tom out of a gobbler.”

• “Don’t count your giblets before they hatch.”

• “We turkeys need to stick together like gravy on mashed potatoes.”

Clever Comebacks

If turkeys could talk, they might have some snappy comebacks to farmers:

• Farmer: “Looks like your time’s up turkey.” Turkey: “I’m not going down without a fight. You’ll get no drumsticks from me!”

• Farmer: “You’ve had a good life here turkey, but it’s time.” Turkey: “If you want me, you’ll have to catch me first!”

• Farmer: “Okay turkey, into the coop.” Turkey: “I refuse to be cooped up!”

• Farmer: “Thanksgiving’s coming turkey.” Turkey: “And clearly you have no thanks giving.”

Corny Jokes

Some cute jokes imagine funny conversations between turkeys and farmers:

• Turkey: “Nice axe. Is it for chopping wood?” Farmer: “Yes, I’m lumberjack.” Turkey: “Well you’re not axing me any questions!”

• Turkey: “Got any corn?” Farmer: “No, but I’ve got sons.” Turkey: “That’s an awful dad joke!”

• Turkey: “What do you call a farmer in August? A chicken farmer!”

• Turkey: “How does a farmer count their chickens? With a hen calculator!”

• Turkey: “Don’t count your chickens before they hatch. But for turkeys, go ahead and count us, we won’t be hatching.”

Pleas for Mercy

The turkey might try pleading with the farmer to spare its life:

• “Please Mr. Farmer, don’t turn me into dinner, I want to live!”

• “If you let me live, I promise to lay golden eggs for you.”

• “Have mercy, my little gobblers need me!”

• “I know I’m fat and tasty, but I still want to see another Thanksgiving.”

• “Think of me as a big feathery dog, not a meal!”

Angry Threats

The turkey may get angry and threaten the farmer:

• “Keep coming at me farmer and you’ll feel my pecking wrath!”

• “I’ll round up my flock and we’ll gobble-swarm you!”

• “Go ahead and try me. I’ll poke your eyes out with my beak!”

• “You’ll be sorry you tried to turn me into turkey gravy.”

• “I’m warning you farmer, don’t mess with me or I’ll feather your truck!”

Somber Goodbyes

Knowing its fate is sealed, the turkey may say final goodbyes:

• “Well farmer, it’s been a good life here on the farm. Farewell.”

• “If only I could have seen one last summer. But alas, my time has come.”

• “Goodbye farmer, I hope I taste delicious for Thanksgiving at least.”

• “Don’t feel guilty about eating me farmer, circle of life and all that.”

• “I don’t regret our time together farmer. Now make me proud at the Thanksgiving table!”

Desperate Negotiation

The turkey may try to bargain with the farmer to save itself:

• “If you don’t eat me, I’ll lay 20 eggs a day for you!”

• “I’ll gain 200 lbs for you in a month if you let me live!”

• “Take Chicken instead, she’s plumper than me!”

• “Tell you what, eat Linda the Turkey instead, no one likes her.”

• “How about I be your guard turkey and keep watch against foxes?”

Shared Laughter

Or perhaps the turkey and farmer joke together:

• Turkey: “So it’s my time huh?” Farmer: “Yup, Thanksgiving’s coming.” Turkey: “Well then, bon appetit!”

• Turkey: “Farmer, if I don’t make it, make sure to use my feathers for some fly fishing lures!”

• Turkey: “I’m looking forward to that gravy hot tub I’ve heard so much about!”

• Turkey: “Just don’t undercook me okay? I don’t want to end up dry.”

• Turkey: “What time should I baste myself for dinner?”

However the conversation goes, the turkey and the farmer likely share a moment of lighthearted laughter before the holiday feast. Even poultry seem to appreciate humor in the most dire circumstances. Sure the turkey may meet its end, but at least it can go out with a laugh.